Things we teach an innocent only child....

The following was written after a particularly difficult trip to Walmart.

The rules of engagement when at the store:

1. Mom (or any other adult) is a fool for bringing us all here and thinking she can accomplish anything. Take every opportunity to remind her of that.

2. If you are placed in any given seat in the cart (there are three in the semi-like carts), you must demand to be in a different seat. If moved, you must demand to be in the seat in which you were originally placed.

3. No other child may touch you or your seat at any time, in any way. If this occurs, scream. If you are not being touched by someone else, try to touch them.

4. If Mom lets you hold an item she is going to purchase, drop it at least three times.

5. Whatever you do, don't look Mom in the eyes when she talks to you. Once she's locked eyes with you, you're through.

Disclaimer: Some of these things we didn't teach. Amazingly enough, ALL the kids with me seemed to know the rules already. :)

Trick or Treat

My little lion...

(She said a sweet 'thank you' to every person who gave her candy.)

a lovely Cinderella...

(The dress had a tear which I fixed with duct tape and a hot glue gun. You couldn't even tell-the duct tape was on the inside. Perfect! I think this dress was passed down to us by a certain Stephanie Z. Thank you!)

a scary ghost....

(He's been planning this costume for months. I made it from a $3 sheet from Walmart.)

and a (last minute) Harry Potter.

(He was going to be a Jedi, but decided at 6:30p the night before he'd like to be Harry Potter. We had a black wig that I trimmed a little. I made round, black glasses rims out of scrapbooking paper and taped them to the existing rims of his old glasses. He wore an old oxford shirt of mine, a "sweater vest" I sewed out of an old gray t-shirt of Eric's embellished with a printed Hogwarts crest, his Jedi robe as his cloak, and a clip on tie Eric had from a skit he did once. A stick from the backyard completed the costume. Not bad, eh? I love a good craft challenge.)

This is the holiday when it PAYS to have four kids. We raked in a sweet haul. :)

Things We Teach An Innocent Only Child....

It is entirely appropriate to crawl around the grocery store floor acting like a puppy.